Nope
Parents must listen carefully, very carefully, to the song their young adult is singing.
You may have already discovered that the use of actual, real, spoken words is vastly reduced in a teenager, whole sentences are often thrown out of the window and most communication with adults throughout the teen years is via eyebrows, shoulder position and door-slamming!
That is their song. They are speaking loudly in their own way and they still need you to hear their song, they just don’t want to have to interpret for you.
I have discovered that their song is sung much louder when you have needed to confront them about something.
It gets louder still if you dare to try and correct them.
Choosing to ignore that music, waiting for it to pass, is (I believe) an extremely dangerous game.
A teen who has flopped onto the sofa, phone in hand, communicating in grunts and other indecipherable noises yet is still downstairs in your vicinity, is likely to be in need of something. That may be looking for chitchat, connection, advice, re-assurance, someone to listen, interest, attention – just something.
A teen who has slammed the bedroom door needs to be heard, they are still asking for help even if they were unable to use their words.
A teen who is yelling at the top of their lungs ‘JUST GET OUT, I HATE YOU, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!’ could simply be asking for some space, some alone time!
I acknowledge it maybe a song you don’t like but they are communicating with you.
As parents we often find ourselves reacting and responding to their attitudes, which we can read incorrectly because they are not using the spoken word, when often times they actually are telling us they need us for something.
We all have bad days.
We all get those NOPE days
But we don’t all always need to be ignored, told off, left alone on those NOPE days.
Sometimes we need to just put our pjs on and hibernate before we can be ready to put our game face back on and face the world again.
Adults struggle with that, adolescents are no different.
Adults need their ‘Nope’ days so of course our young adults need them too.
Listen to the song their body language is singing, sometimes it is such a loud cry for help it hurts.