Play through the boredom - september 2018
How is that children can play with the same toys over and over again?
It seems as though for one particular month they have to exhaust every possibility from one single game. In our toddler house we would have a tea set month, then a lego month, then the train set month followed by a play doh month.
Why do they do that? Why can’t they mix it up a little? It is almost as if they need to stay focused on every permutation of a make believe tea party in order to exhaust it completely and learn every thing about that game. Every single day they need to set it all up AGAIN just to pack it all away AGAIN. And then they would do it all again the very next day!
I can completely understand it when talking about roller skates or bike riding – or something else where a skill is being learned and developed. Then, of course, consistent practice, determination – they are qualities I would applaud. But seriously, I used to get bored just thinking about what they were going to play with for the upcoming day.
The first week I could maybe keep up the fake enthusiasm – most of the time. I could pretend I was enjoying the game because I was enjoying their enjoyment. The novelty, however, quickly wore off and I would find myself sitting quietly, plucking each of my eyelashes out with my fingertips.
As much as it pained me, as tedious as it was, I forced myself to roll out play doh pancake after play doh pancake. I had to watch as they cut out unidentifiable shapes and cheer their efforts. I had to sit and pour more ‘air-tea’ and fake, frothy ‘cappanino’s’ simply because it was important to them.
There are the obvious benefits; they were learning to share their toys and their space. They were learning to talk, to be sociable. They were learning much while I was trying to teach them. I was teaching them to converse and communicate. I was teaching them to persevere when things got tricky. I was teaching them to tidy up after themselves, to not mash up all the play-doh into one muddy ball, or mix the glitter into a confetti rainbow (because we all know that keeping the blue glitter in the blue glitter pot is an important life lesson to learn).
We must try and remember that for those little people their games are not boring. This is what they choose to do because they are learning, constantly curious, discovering new ways to do things, new facts, so much is new. When they are in school they have to do as they are told and their playtimes of discovery are severely limited.
I never realised back then just how much they were learning during those play times. Becoming even more apparent to me now is that I was teaching them just how important they are to me.
‘Yes, my doll, of course I can switch the computer off to come and have a cappanino and slice of cake with you”
“Yes sweetie, the dinner can wait a sec, I would love to make a lego tower, yes, just so that we can knock it to the ground again.”
I am not denying my boredom factor at times, that I was hyper aware I had a billion and one jobs that needed doing, and that, yes, for my own sanity, I had to say no often. But for those few minutes of the day, my littley had me and my attention for her and her game and she flourished in that. I was not yelling at her, I was not asking her to do something for me, to pick up something, to clear something - in fact, she was the boss and she generally told me what to do. She loved it, each of them, all loved it.
When they were small, and in my care, I could scoop them up to claim a kiss and a cuddle whenever I chose. Now, as primary/secondary aged school children, I have to pick my moments and co-ordinate with their busy schedules. Too soon, cuddles will be very few and far between, traditional ‘play’ happens less frequently now and I am not their person of choice to hang out with. Hopefully, in those times of (sometimes) tedious toddler play, they learnt that their mum is someone who has a shared interest with them, who is more interested in them than a screen, who genuinely enjoys their company.
The ability to shut down the computer, to switch off the TV, to step out of the kitchen, put the phone down and play was, in itself, a huge lesson – for me and them.
Thankfully, I have re-discovered how many hours there actually are in a day. In these days when we are hyper-aware of how me must care for our mental health I remember those days of simple play, of stepping away from jobs, to do not much. Those are vital, necessary breaks that I must take and that I learnt to do during toddler playtimes.
Too quickly, we have reached a time in our house where we no longer play with dolls and buggies, no more shop-toys, play food and tea sets, no Barbie, no My Little Pony.
So I thank God that He nudged me to make those memories with my precious people when He did because now those days are now gone.
Enjoy them if you still have the chance because no one in our house wants a cappanino anymore. Nowadays, only a flavoured latte will do.