More Money, More Distraction, More Problems - September 2018
I believe Christians have two testimonies; pre-Jesus and post-Jesus. Some people have a big, dramatic conversion event where God healed them of a horrific disease or God lifted them out of a pit of drink or drugs or despair or something. For others it is much more gentle, a kind of slow realisation and acknowledgement of Him. Either way, the journey does not end at the point of conversion and acceptance of Him. For some, for many, that is just the beginning.
After I decided to give my life to God I basked in the glow of His love and His Amazing Grace for a while but then I realised if this Jesus thing was to mean anything, I had to begin to live for Him. I wanted to be, but I needed to change. One of the first changes was Money
I was living Destinys Child ‘Independent women’. I qualified and was immediately on a good salary for a 22-year-old. I had no responsibilities, no dependants, so I spent wildly and freely with occasional guilt about the sums of money I could spend on only me and my pleasure and my leisure.
When I first heard about tithing I felt sick to my stomach. To give 10% of my monthly salary to church was a ridiculous notion to me. As a child I had seen people drop pennies into the collection bag, loose change, whatever they had in their pockets, and that worked for me, not the £100s giving 10% would require of me now. Therefore, I chose to ignore that part of the bible!
Things changed when I properly devoted to Jesus sometime in my 30s.
Initially, these 3 signposts reminded me of the command to tithe and to give to God what belongs to Him.
1, New Zealand preach. A pastor and his wife on the North Island told us thier story of living by faith alone for a whole year. They gave up everything in order to let God provide for them. They had countless testimonies from that year alone of seeming coincidence after coincidence after coincidence (which was really just God providing for their every need) and it really spoke to me.
2. A man at Bethany who had been made redundant as the only earner in a family of 4. This man never stopped singing of Gods praises and his love for the Lord, he never appeared stressed or concerned about his house or feeding his family. Somehow he maintained complete confidence that all would be well.
3. I heard many preaches and teaches on the danger of idols, repeatedly, over a short space of time. Jesus is to be our first love. This is a command not a suggestion.
We were in a time when our financial situation was terrible. We regularly went without because we just couldn’t afford. We couldn’t always put fuel in the car. We couldn’t buy shoes when Shay out grew a pair. I could not get any clothes to fit my body because I grew in pregnancy but didn’t shrink to the same shape I had been before.
After our travels Matt did not want to be an Optician anymore so he began to train for a new career. He was on a basic training wage and I stayed home with the baby. It was in this place that I felt completely at peace with our finances for the first time in my adult life because it was then we decided to give God back His 10%. I knew that God was in control this time, I knew that we would be ok.
It wasn’t straightforward because we were on such a tight budget as it was, any amount would be a significant dent to our income. We thought it would be best just to take the money out on Matts pay day and give it to church straight away so that it was gone.
You don’t need me to spell out to you how faithful God was to us at that time. He provided over and above what we needed or hoped for. I have so many stories of what He done for us in that time but I am going to move on….
After baby 3 I realised that I needed to work because the family had grown and life was expensive. Optics was the most logical option due to pay so reluctantly, I began to work one day a week.
As our income increased so did our tithe and we happily gave 10% of everything. The key word there is happily. We were encouraged by what we had learned from our previous experiences and knew that this was simply what we needed to do.
However, I quickly realised that I had learnt nothing! Even before my salary began to come in I had spent it! We were so excited to have money for the first time since having children that we spent it. We booked long weekends away, we went out to eat, we bought shoes and clothes – we discovered a whole new world. After about a year God stopped me and opened my eyes. I was reminded of how wonderful life had been, how God had been our social life, God had been our source of joy and peace and laughter and enjoyment. We had tasted a simple life and we had loved it.
Its one of those things that you just cannot know until you have experienced it.
I am so glad God only left me a year before pulling me back to Him. When I managed to focus on Him, love Him, seek Him first I genuinely so Him as my provider of everything again. It was then that He began to entrust us with more. I think that’s just how he does it. I was bad at money before because it was my security, it was my source of all pleasure, it was my means of leisure and joy and peace and independence. But God wants to be all of that to me and if I am committed to Him then He will be my security, source of pleasure, leisure, joy and peace.
Slowly, He began to increase our income and we learnt how to live a simple life focused on Him even with money in the bank. No doubt about it, getting distracted is easier with money in the bank but He always reminds me when I have strayed too far from Him for too long and gently, He guides me back to Him.
Our financial situation today is shaky and very uncertain but I am so happy in the place we are in. I am very excited about what God has in store for us next.
Bring it on!